Steve Brock.INFO

When Will My Heart Stop Breaking?

4/4/2006 6:27:43 PM

When will my heart stop breaking?
Love never seems to last
Every time I start to fall in love
It ends all too fast
Is this just an endless journey?
Is my fate already cast?
When will my heart stop breaking?
Love never seems to last

When will my heart stop breaking?
When will I ever learn?
Ever time I get close to the flame
I end up getting burned
Does love exist just in fairy tales?
Why is it always someone else’s turn?
When will my heart stop breaking?
When will I ever learn?

You say you’ll never hurt me
How do I know for sure?
My heart has been broken too many times
How do I know your love is pure?
I have so many questions
You say you have the answers
I will trust that you’ll be gentile
Maybe this time it will endure.

When did my heart start beating?
In 4/4 time
It’s like my life began again
When you held your hand in mine
You say that you’ll stay with me
And never leave me down the line
When did my heart start beating?
In 4/4 time
And tell me that I am just a fool
And you’ll always be mine

Take a Train to Boston

3/28/2006 12:58:46 AM

Verse:
Hearts are broken at least
Every other minute of every day.
For every one that leaves
Another person stays.

You think that love's just a game
That other people win
But if you listen to your heart and not your head
The healing will begin

Bridge:
And if you ask me how I know
How all of this is true
Instead of looking everywhere for love
Did you look right beside you.

Chorus:
I'd take a train to Boston
If you'd just say the word
I would fly across the country
Or crawl if you preferred

If you simply asked me
I'd catch a falling star
Kiss the ground you walked on
Or maybe I'll just take a train to Boston

Verse:
I'll bet that you didn't know
The Sun rose in your eyes
And every moment with you in my life
Is like a sweet surprise

I wish that you'd find that
Your heart belonged to me
Maybe I should stop living
In some silly fantasy

I'll Go

2/2/2006 12:03:26 PM

I've tried so long to be the man you want me to be
Now I think that it's time for you to set me free
I'll never be the man that you seem to be be needing
If I don't leave now, I'll never stop the bleeding

(Chorus)
And so
I'll go
And let the pain inside of us start healing
You'll be better off without me
And I'll do just fine
Although
I know
I'll miss the good times so badly
We'll be happier alone
So I'll go

I know what I'm saying couldn't be a big surprise
I just know that I'm so damned sick of all the lies
I remember when I promised that I'd always be true
Well it's about damned time. There's one thing left for me to do (to Chorus)

Come Back to Me

2/2/2006 12:00:16 PM

Why did I ever let you go
Why did I push you away
Instead of letting you walk out that door
I should have begged you to stay

My heart is empty without you
The light in my soul fades away
I should have never let you say goodbye
I regret it more and more every day

It seems
You're still in my dreams
You haunt my day and my memories won't die
Day by Day
The happiness you gave
Is giving way to sadness. My heart just won't lie

Just come back to me...
Baby just come back to me...

Infinity

12/14/2005 3:49:21 PM

As I sit alone with you tonight
My mind thinks of the tragedies
That have made up my life
But then you look at me in that special way
And my thoughts just drift away
I have done nothing to deserve
You.

When the sun goes down in the desert
Ever star is in the skies
Lord, I thought I'd seen infinity
Til I looked into your eyes

Then you put your arms around me
I just can't believe my luck
That the Lord sent you to me
I am with you for eternity
I could never ask for more
I'm so lucky to have deserved...you....

When the world comes crashing down on me
Your smile's a sweet surprise
I'll be with you eternally
So I can keep looking in your eyes.

When the sun goes down in the desert
Ever star is in the skies
Lord, I thought I'd seen infinity
Til I looked into your eyes

I Always Think About You

10/18/2005 2:11:17 PM

The very thought of you consumes me
I think of nothing else
Burns my soul with endless fire
I fall to ashes in myself

Do you ever think about me
Do I ever cross your mind
Because within the fabric of me
I think about you all the time

Why don't you love me anymore
I think we're worth fighting for
My days are filled with emptiness
With dreams that won't come true...
I always think about you...............

I close my eyes at nighttime
And I see your angelic face.
My heart is filled with painful memories
That time cannot erase

Did you ever really love me
Or was I wasting my time
Because day or night
I can't get you off of my mind!

It Only Hurts When I Breathe

10/18/2005 2:09:50 PM

You fill my soul with unending fire
You fill my heart with endless desire.
I wake in sweats with the dreams you inspire.
But it only hurts when I breathe.

Since you left I've been in a trance
I've given up on the idea of true romance
You've got me caught in a masochistic dance.
But It only hurts when I breathe

It only hurts when I breathe
The atmosphere is filled with memories of you
I inhale and they come crashing through
You brought me to my knees

And when I'm feeling this way
There isn't much else to say
Don't worry I'll be okay
It only hurts when I breathe

Say that in time I will forget about you
Say that I will find love with someone new
But since you left me I don't know what to do
It only hurts when I breathe

The tears have gone I have none left to cry
Time heals seems like such a blatant lie
I think I'll love you til the day I die
Cause it only hurts when I breathe

All I needed to know I learned from Confucious

10/18/2005 1:53:10 PM

If you never know pain, how can you know what joy is?
If you never know hate, how can you kow what love is?
If you never know loneliness, how can you know what togetherness is?
Life is filled with Pain and Suffering but through Suffering you come to know extreme joy.
It takes a wise man to admit he doesn't know everything, But a fool believes he knows all.
Those who stay uneducated get exactly what they wish for.
AND MOST OF ALL:
Those who feel that they're beliefs are right and everyone else is wrong, is probably wrong in his beliefs. Those who force their beliefs on you have their argument written on sandstone, crumbling under even the slightest scrutiny. Those who listen to other's beliefs have the strongest of faiths.

Most everything I believe in came from one religion or another. While I am a Christian by definition of believing in Christ as my savior and attempting to live how he taught, there are a lot of other wonderful teachings out there that I have incorporated into my faith. I have decided that not everyone on Earth is capable of believing that God is the answer. He comes to us as humans in many forms — these forms are His because not everyone can understand one particular image of God. I believe he gives non-believers one last chance to believe and that is at the end of our lives. If you stare at Him and still you don't believe, God won't force you to go to Heaven. Hell is truely a place of our own choosing. Jesus is the Son of God, but he is also an amazing teacher. "Do unto others as they would do unto you" is an amazing philosophy that everyone should follow regardless of what your beliefs are.

Another thing I gleamed from studying religions is the concept of emotional energy. I believe that we are responsible for every reaction we give to outside stimuli. For example I was chatting with a friend once who happens to be of African heritage. Now this is important only in that it's appropo to the story. It seems that her son was called the "N" word by the son of the Pastor of her church. Her first reaction is to get very angry. Now after I got over my shock at hearing about a pastor's son using such hate speech, I told her that the "N" word really means nothing in and of itself — it only means something when you react to it. Everyone's reaction is different, but if you are black, your reaction may be the same as my friend's was.

I used the analogy of an electrical lamp. The lamp can only receive power from the outlet in the wall. The words people use receive power only if you "plug" into them. If you plug into negative energy you can only burn negatively. If you plug into positive energy the opposite occurs. Negative energy can only be created by humans, in my opinion, and positive energy is all around us waiting for us to attach to it. In my opinion, that positive energy is provided to us by God.

I then came to the conclusion that a lot of the words we use to describe negative behavior don't really exist outside of our identifying it. In my faith, God is Love. An absence of God is not Love. Hate is the opposite of Love. I therefore believe that Hate doesn't really exist; it is merely an absence of Love or an absence of God. Ignorance is an absence of knowledge or an absence of the Lord who provides it. You get my point I hope.

Sounding so Eastern in my beliefs may sound odd coming from one who claims to be a Christian. I believe, though, that Jesus perhaps believed some of these same types of things. St. Paul wrote in one of his many letters about how our behavior proves our faith to others.

I hope that this isn't too jolting for my non-Christian friends who know me as a poet, but a lot of my poetry comes from being so deeply in touch with my emotional core. While I am not always happy — some would say that I'm pretty dark emotionally — when it comes down to it, I'm a pretty satisfied person.

I attempt to try to live as Jesus would. I fail every day but I don't give up.

Singing to My Greatest Fan

10/18/2005 1:48:46 PM

I love to sing. I’ll sing to anyone who cares to listen. I write my own music and I also love singing other people’s music. However, my biggest fan’s favorite songs that I sing aren’t on any top 40 or anything deep that I write. She doesn’t care much for those types of songs, although Hilary Duff is becoming a fast favorite.

Her favorite songs are, Once Upon a Dream from Sleeping Beauty, and Close Your Eyes Stephanie Lorraine, a lullaby I wrote.

That’s right. You guessed it. My greatest fan is my little 5 year old girl. And my concert hall is her bedroom at night. She listens to my voice as she drifts off to Never Never Land. I love singing to her. She gives me no criticism, and she hangs on my every note. I wonder how Sting or other popular singers feel when they sing to their babies.

I love to write songs and write poetry. And I especially love it when my daughter is my inspiration. She makes me feel good to be alive (most times ).

So while I hope to someday perform in front of thousands of people. For now, I’m satisfied with performing for an audience of one.

Cool Breezes...

10/18/2005 1:44:02 PM

The night sky was filled with the twinkle of the cosmos. Jack was hard at work nursing the hole in his heart she left behind when she left him. He was wasting away in Margaritaville, or at least what facsimilie Malibu could give him. The outdoor bar allowed Jack to drink his pain away while marvelling at the insignificance of what was really happening to him. Dani meant everything to him but clearly her heart was elsewhere.

She had promise, talent, and whatever else they call it in Nashville. His señorita was headed for her name in lights. He couldn't hold her back and she didn't want to be. Jack knew how special she was. That sort of specialness could never be something private. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself. Didn't help any. But the Cuervo or whatever else Marlo would give him did help.

Not that Jack was a raging drunk. Oh he held his own during the day. He only had begun to waste away. He prayed that Dani would become so successful that she'd come back to him someday. He wasn't sure. Dani McClintock was special, alright. Too special to be with a schlub like him.

So he sat in the lounge chair staring at the sky, drunk off his ass, wondering if she was looking at the same set of stars in Nashville. Then he wondered how those stars would look by her side. So he hopped on his Harley and rode until he reached Memphis. He called his love on the phone when he got there using an old payphone with half the book ripped out. She was so surprised to hear a familiar voice at the other end.

Dani missed Jack very much and never really wanted to leave the safety of West LA. The safety she felt when she was enveloped in his arms. She hoped the he'd never let go. Thank God he didn't.

Does democracy really work?

10/10/2005 4:07:52 PM

In my education I have studied many forms of governance and economies. Democracy on paper is a beautiful thing. Everyone gets one vote and votes on everything. The United States, however isn't a democracy at all. It's a republic. We may be "free" (while there are limits to such) but we don't vote on everything. In a pure democracy there wouldn't even be leaders. Ancient Greece had several city-states that were pure democracies. Some communes in Israel have democracy. But we are not. We vote for people to make decisions for us because...we don't want to.

We are trying to place on Iraq a form a democracy that I don't believe we even practice. Perhaps it's time to let Iraq figure out to do with it's freedom and come up with it's own brand of governance.

Democracy doesn't work in reality because we have people who want to lead a group of people who don't want to decide.

Focus on War on Terror

10/10/2005 4:03:43 PM

Often when looking for topics on which to discuss, I like to look at foreign websites. These people are ostensibly our allies. However, they do seem to look at us askew every 4 years. Especially when they already live in terrorist torn nations. Terror is their primary focus. They've been fighting the war on terror longer than we have. What makes us so much better that we can do it in just a few years?

Yusuf Kanli of the Turkish Press writes -- "The world must abandon hypocrisy in fighting terrorism. Providing save haven to terrorists is now as much of a crime as is financing them or getting directly involved in acts of terror."

Jude Wanniski writes in ALJAZEERA.NET -- "If we think of the United States as the father of the entire family of nations, what it did under Mr Bush 18 months ago was ignore the United Nations, the world's only legal framework for the adjudication of family problems"

Dr Mustafa al-Bazergan of the Iraq Information and Research Centre in London writes -- "Whether Iraq can still emerge from the debacle as a democratic and united country will depend on Bush's ability to break the stranglehold of the neo-conservatives who surround him and control America's defence and foreign policies. "

Clearly it seems that the world looks at the Iraq war in a different way than we to. Most Arabs believe that if Kerry wins, then we'll leave Iraq and if Bush stays, they'll have more hell to pay.

Personal Philosophies

10/10/2005 3:58:34 PM

What the hell does it mean to be a liberal or a conservative now-a-days. I've plain decided that both labels mean about as much as the politicians who claim to be on either side of the fence. I wish to God that politicians would stop whining. I have always thought of myself as a liberal. Well, my party leadership has become a playground of pre-schoolers whining about the bully punching them in the nose. I didn't vote for G.W. but at least the Republicans have behaved relatively dignified while Tom Daschle keeps changing his mind about what or which thing he supports. So while I can't philosophically vote Republican, I feel repulsed by what passes for candidates in the Democratic aisle.

So vote third party you say. Well, if there's a third party candidate with enough "cajones" to be honest about his ideology I might just do that. But here's the problem. The Democratic platform is something that I mostly agree with. So, with a downed heart I still vote Democrat. Fiscally I have become quite conservative. I can see that cutting taxes for the people who have the wealth causes more wealth and most of those wealthy guys at least spend it. The more taxation there is, it seems, the more likely unemployment will go up and the more likely our economy spins out of control. I've said to people who'll listen that we should defederalize a bunch of things and start going with a flat tax for at least a while. See what happens. Maybe magic will happen.

On the other hand, while I believe in less government in my wallet, I also believe in less government in my private life as well. Who's business anyway is it? All you'll know is what you'll see me write about, but the Gestapo of Homeland Security scares the hell out of me sometimes. Yes we should profile people; random acts of invasion aren't necessary. If the odds are that someone from the Middle East could be a terrorist, perhaps we should look at them a little closer. I heard a comedian once say that they saw Ray Charles being screened at the airport. Ray freaking Charles! C'mon folks if he's a terrorist, we're all in trouble.

Miracles Happen Every Day...

10/7/2005 7:31:00 AM

The ocean breeze smelled sweet. I found a rock to sit apon and I stared at the horizon line that separated the ocean and the sky. The sun was almost done setting and it created this beautiful glow in the clouds. A tiny break in the coverage put a pinpoint light across the water. I took another breath. This was where I came to think usually but the unusually wonderful view set my reverie up on end. I couldn't think about anything else but the orchestration that God had put before me as if I were just for me. Finally I thought about my long life and the hardships that I had gone through and the wonders of my existance. I had 4 grandchildren who had given me joy for so very long. Sarah was graduating from Stanford soon, Michael had composed his first musical, Jason was just opening his first Restaurant, and Josh was...well...one of the hardships that my family had to go through. But finally, Josh had made it through it all and he became a speaker on drug abuse.

I found Josh in a crack house in West Hollywood. Never thought I would find him there. He looked at me as if I wasn't there. His look was almost the look Mom gave me before the Alzheimers took her completely. I never knew that someone could look so lost until then. He was a zombie riddled by the effects of long term drug abuse. I wasn't sure what to do so I picked him up off the ground, sat him in a chair and gave him a hug. He struggled for a bit; he still was unaware of who I was. Then came the breakthrough. He started crying and begged me to take him home.

It took a while before Josh would dry out. Several missteps but eventually he did it. He went through NA and AA and even CoDA. I wasn't sure why Josh got to that point and I decided after he finally made it to ask him what went wrong. Josh told me that before he cleaned up his answer would have run the gambit from being an only child in a family of four to being a loser anyway. Now all Josh would say is that life didn't get away from him, he got away from life.

So I took another breath of the ocean air and looked back on my life. I had trials and tribulations. But when I felt that the trials had got too hard I had to remember that Josh went through more. He was a drug addict and he was homeless but after being given a hug, he made it through. Sure I was old, alone in most respects. Rose died last year from heart failure and I had about reached the end of the road myself. But I still had my daughter and my grandkids who loved me. I had to remember that even though I had troubles in my life the joys always outweighed them because of the joy itself.

I took yet another breath. And that was all the miracle I needed.

Bird Lady of Venice Beach

10/7/2005 7:26:58 AM

The people down at the club called her the "Bird Lady of Venice Beach." Right away people who don't know her get the wrong idea from that. These birds with broken wings were people who came in and out of her life with issues that she felt she could solve or heal with her deeply caring heart. However most of the time, she didn't even see them coming. She cared about each and every one of those people sometimes a bit too much, but she had a big heart and nothing could be done. She didn't realize that one guy got much too close. His name was Benji. Yeah just like the puppy from the movies. And just like that shaggy dog, he walked into her life like a hurricane. Hurricanes come in fast but leave a damaging swath in their wake. He was this guy. He was so damaged that he didn't even realize that he was the cause of the problems blooming in her soul. She didn't see it until it was too late.

Now her heart is guarded. She's very careful about the "birds" in her life. They fly away and she desperately tries to remember that they had the problems and not her. But truth be told, that held no comfort to her. Even the friends in her life were objects of wariness.

One day I hope that the Bird Lady will heal her broken wings and soar.

The darkest side of love...

10/7/2005 7:21:20 AM

The light from the flashing hotel sign made the room glow from red to green to darkness and back again. Scott sat at the imitation desk with a revolver in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other. He decides to put the gun away but keep the liquor at hand. Fact is he couldn't off himself if he tried. He felt like an utter failure but mostly he was scared. Scared to be alone for the first time in 18 years and scared to move forward. He could never change, she said.

Part of him believed her. This part formerly held the gun. The other part held the Jack. He was sick and tired of being such a loser. Maggy and the kids had gone to her mother's in Vermont and here he was in a hotel room contemplating his life. Lately he had been in meetings and his mind flashed to what would happen if he shot himself right there and then his mind flashed back. He tried to put the images out of his mind but he couldn't. He hadn't lost his job...yet, but his wife still called him a loser. Sometimes low self-esteem is common sense, he thought.

There were five things keeping Scott from offing himself. First was a healthy fear of pain, and the other's had names like Joey, Scotty, Felicia and Celia. Yeah it was his kids that kept him alive. Everytime he felt like ending it he looked at them. He wasn't a bad father at all was he? All in all, the cheating he had done only hurt Maggy right? In reality the cheating only hurt Scott in the long run. Maggy didn't think she could trust him any more. And why should she?

"Hello, Maggy, I'm sorry...beeeeeep..."

He almost had given up the last time he called but he kept on calling her cell phone hoping she'd pick up. Then he got down on his knees and called out to whomever was answering at the time. He knew there was a God but he was also sure that God had forgotten all about him.

"Hello...If this is really you, you have to help me out here. I'm done trying to solve it all. I'm not sure if you like me or love me but if you do show me a sign that I can be redeemed!"

Not hearing an answer, he crawled into bed. Tired, alone, and completely spent mentally he couldn't even bring himself to cry himself to sleep like he had done so many nights prior. The cars on the interstate had become his lullaby.

Suddenly a knock came at the door. Scott slowly walked to the door and the knocks became louder. He opened the door and there she stood. Maggy was there. The red lights of the hotel sign gave her raven hair a special glow that almost made it seem like she was one of those angels on TV.

"Listen, Scott. I don't want to give up but I'm done trying. Now it's your turn if you want it."

The tears came flowing down her cheeks and Scott raised his hand to wipe her cheek. She flinched a little but he gave her a small shush and brushed her face dry. Maggy fell into his arms and the two began again.

(This is more fiction. It came completely from my head and is not based on any reality.)

She walks balletically, she speaks like a symphony

10/7/2005 7:20:32 AM

She entered into my mind far before she introduced herself. She started off as a fascination not unlike many other girls, but quickly she transformed into a mysterious passion. Eventually my goal was to unravel her and know every part about her. Her introduction made the obsession only worse. Her voice became music like that certain song that never leaves your head and you end up humming when you don't even realize it. Her eyes were the only thing that I saw when I closed my own. Her skin was visibly soft. How is that possible? I ask myself. I hadn't touched her yet. But she touched me -- in my soul first and then everywhere else next. Her walk was balletic; she almost seem to dance when she walked with the music of her vibrant yet soft voice. When she put her hand on my knee, I nearly jumped out of my skin. The shock sent shivers all throughout me and left me breathless. I tried to speak but I thought better of it. Speaking would almost be an interruption of the symphony that was her. She smiled at me! How do I remain cool? It was a crescendo to the dance performed in front of me.

I could only return the smile. I hadn't a drop to drink that night yet I was intoxicated. The slow methodical beating of my heart seemed to accompany her song. I must be losing my mind! How was it that music seemed to follow her wherever she went? The din of the voices around me at the party dimmed slowly to silence and there was only her. This began as a mere glance at a gorgeous woman but now it was way beyond lust.

My spirit seemed to melt and longed to be one with hers. She sat next to me? Holy Shit! Does she know what effect she has on me? Her perfume -- what is that scent...I can't place it -- wafted around me converting me into a nervous school boy about to be called upon and not knowing the answer. The curvature of her body linked with my own. She could almost melt into me -- I swear it. She put her hand back on my knee and her head on my shoulder. She must be reading my mind to know that I would never reject this.

Her breath is warm as it breezes past my neck. It couldn't be possible that this could make me feel any more...more than I was already but it did. Love at first site didn't compare to this.

The party was coming to an end. I didn't want the night to stop. We talked endlessly about things that mattered to the both of us. Serendipity. She kissed me on that place that exists only to send me soaring...the place where the neck ends and the shoulder begins. She whispered that she'd like to see me again. She wrote her number in eye pencil on a "kiss me here, I'm Clinton" napkin and glided away.

On my way home my mind was swimming with the events of the night. I would call on her. She was more than anything I could have dreamed about. My spritual connection. I could hardly breathe much less than sleep but eventually exhaustion won out. My dreams are now filled with visions of her.

She is a fantasy come true...Or did I dream this all up?

What is Sexy?

10/7/2005 7:18:35 AM

Has there ever been a person in your life that changes you in ways that you'd rather not discuss with your friends? Changes not for the bad...but changes nonetheless? These changes can sometime seem a little scary but mostly they exist to mature you. In some cases you barely have to know them. I can only speak from the male perspective though. I have no idea what women go through. But I can say that there have been select few women in my life who transform my every thought into including her and consume me in ways I've never thought possible.

I know what you're thinking. Please back away from that thought, girlfriend. I'm not talking about lust or obsession. Well maybe a slight obsession sometimes but mostly it's a slow burn. She can be hotter than a year full of Indian Summers, but she doesn't have to be. Many a time she's come into my life when I wasn't expecting it and effects my every molecule. All my dreams contain her and all my waking moments are turned toward her.

Please understand what I'm saying here. She is sexy. There are models out there who are downright pretty but it takes a special one to be sexy. And there are girls who some men wouldn't give the time of day to that practically drip sexy.

Often she has a look in her eye or a smile that could light Philadelphia. Sometimes she knows how to walk to let her butt hypnotize even the most staid of men. She also knows how to lift your spirit. She'll take you to places in your mind you've never dreamed about before she even sleeps with you. If she sleeps with you. Sometimes sexy is even purely digital. She can take your soul if you let her.

She'll have a mind as expansive as the Milky Way. Ideas flow from her like manna from the sky. You sometimes forget how beautiful she is to you just so you can listen to her voice. Oh and her eyes. Her eyes are not only beautiful but there is a whole lot behind them. When they say that eyes are a window to the soul, her's are the Stained Glass windows of an ancient castle with personality behind every color.

She may be around the corner, behind a funny screen name on IM, or even the girl next door. And she'll come back. Perhaps in an entirely different form, shade or hue. She'll drive you crazy and you won't care. You'll be crushing on her and she might not even know and sometimes on rare occasions it will seem like she doesn't care.

She's 100% sexy. Beauty is only skin deep but sexy comes from the molten core of her heavenly body with a gravitational pull of a thousand stars. She's a gift from either heaven above or somewhere else entirely. Does it matter?

My Best Friend

10/6/2005 4:57:23 PM

How many of you can say that you have a best friend? To me a best friend is someone that you can count on. Count on to be supportive and count on to tell you when you are being a complete ass. Also that person has to be able to count on you for the same thing.Well I have that in my friend Denise.I met Denise when I was a junior in high school. I was very turtle-like hiding in my shell sitting alone eating my lunch like the pathetic loser that I was. Then it happened this cute little blonde came over to my table and started to talk to me.

This girl was friends with my brother at the time. My brother, being very little brother like, told her not to go over and talk to me but she did anyway as was her way -- ignoring anything someone told her to do. She talked to me like I was a human. I was very suspicious but eventually she wore down the wall that I put up against human contact.Don't get me wrong I was involved and had "friends" in school. I was a true square peg. For the two years that Denise and I were friends in high school, she set me up with best friends of her's. Her goal was to make the loners in her life be in love. She didn't know that those two people she set me up with were (a) a tease and (b) a psycho, but her heart was always in the right place.I couldn't get a girl to go out with me to save my soul. In my home town people were given a rep and kept it though out their natural life. My prom date was even from an all girls catholic school! But Denise saved me from a dateless life and I will always cherish that (even if the girls were wierdos).After high school we drifted apart. She was two years behind me so we lost contact.Then one day from out of the blue (thanks to Classmates.com) she calls. I was in the middle of the umpteenth arguement with my girlfriend (now my wife) and she wants to talk. Well I can tell you it was the best "saved by the bell" moment of my life so far. Ever since then we've started to develop a whole new friendship.Now this new friendship started based on nostalgia. We'd talk about "The Pickup Artist," which was the movie that we'd seen on a misguided "date". We'd laugh about how I sheepishly tried to "cop a feel" because I thought I was being sexy. Riiiiiiiight.But then things started to become more about being adults who liked each other. Now she and I are best friends. She tells me when I'm whipped and I tell her that she needs to find a truly nice guy this timeAnd I wouldn't trade our friendship for a million dollars. There was a time that I thought she and I would make a perfect match. Bonnie and Clyde. Now, she's my shining light in a sometimes dark and dreary life. She's going to make some good man a lucky man someday soon. Trust me.

IRam Speeds Windows XP Start Up (PC World)

10/6/2005 4:51:52 PM

Taiwanese hardware maker Giga-byte Technology has stumbled upon a faster way to boot up PCs based on Microsoft's Windows XP operating system.

Giga-byte's IRam is a PC add-in card with four DDR DRAM (double data rate dynamic RAM memory) slots that's designed to be used as a PC drive. Because the IRam uses DRAM rather than a hard disk to store information, data can be retrieved from the drive up to 60 times faster than is possible with a hard drive, according to Giga-byte, which showed the board at the Computex exhibition in Taipei this week.

The IRam was originally designed for video and editing applications where users require fast access to very large files, but the company soon realized that the IRam had other potential applications, says Tim Handley, a marketing account manager at the company.

Quick Start
For users who are tired of sitting around and waiting for their Windows-based PCs to boot up, they can install Windows on the IRam and use that as the drive to start the system more quickly, Handley says. When the card is used in this way, starting Windows XP is a matter of seconds, rather than a minute or more, he says.

The IRam can also be used by gamers, who want to reduce the time required to access stored data, he says.

The IRam holds up to 4GB of DRAM in four memory slots. The card fits into a standard PCI slot, which provides power, and it uses a SATA (Serial ATA) connection for data transfer.

Unlike DRAM-based main memory, the IRam card doesn't lose data when the PC is switched off, says Thomas Chang, a product manager at Giga-byte. As long as the PC is plugged into a socket, a very small amount of current continues to run through some parts of the system, including the PCI slots. This provides enough power to make sure that no data is lost, he says.

If the PC is unplugged, the IRam has an on-board battery for emergency power that can last up to 12 hours, he says.

The IRam will be available in July and will be priced at around $60 without DRAM.
Holy bat guano! This is amazing!

Link: http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,121105,00.asp